Frequently Asked Questions
Why don't you answer the phone?
Staffing.
We're not doing it to make you mad.
We feel terrible. We're just simply too busy to answer the phone sometimes. Sorry.
WE'RE HIRING!!!!!!!
Do I need a reservation?
Short answer: Yes
For all restaurants, if you have at least four, it helps us make your party comfortable upon arriving.
For us, in Fishtail MT, where ppl often drive an hour or more to get here, we hate to have you wait,
and a reservation helps make sure you can walk in and be sat right away.
Even if I'm a local?
Yes. Of Course.
We're all local here. We don't import Burmese customers. There are no Anatolian walk-ins.
This isn't the Great Replacement.
The Johnsons dryland homesteaded over 100 years ago,
& you better believe if one of our relatives shows up, they're waiting too.
What happened to the Salad Bar aka Supper Club room?
Staffing.
We can seat 65 people in the main / bar room. Chef and poor little Smokey can't serve two rooms at once with just the two of them.
WE'RE HIRING!!!!! Help us open up that room!
If time is a construct, why do we age?
The universe runs on a subscription model, and it's almost impossible to cancel.
Rumor has it that the Anasazi & the Olmecs both learned how to cancel. Chef is reaching out. We'll keep you posted.
What is the meaning of Life?
An awesome bowl of noodles.
and 42
Do you do Online Ordering?
No.
Main reason:
STAFFING!
Front of House makes over $30 here. Come help us open up more!
I hate my mom's new boyfriend, but I LOVE his dog. How can I thread this needle?
Hate's a strong word, but we'll take your view as canon in this situation and advise you to proceed as such:
we really trust you, and if you hate him, we both know his dog does too. You've got to fix this.
You need to find little moments with the pup, from walks to micro moments when he's in the bathroom- maximize that time. Forge that bond. Make that connection. Train the dog on a few commands only you know.
Once that foundation is laid, be situationally aware; there will come a time when he's distracted / occupied and you can "make your move". Abscond with the dog. Go on vacation. A backpacking trip is best. Deepen that bond. Make the dog yours.
You will probably have to move. You can't be in the same city as him, not for now. Get a seasonal job. Somewhere rural. Somewhere isolated. A place with low broadband and cell coverage. Maybe a safe place to work in that town.
In time, he'll move on, and you'll have the dog.
For that magic place to hide, might we suggest MontAsia in Fishtail?
WE'RE HIRING!